Writing With Style - Part 2 of 3 - Clarity

There is a too much drivel out there. Pick up 99% of press releases and read the boilerplate (the last paragraph that explains what the company does). Drivel! Too many ‘isms’ and not a lot of sense. Really – most of them don’t actually make sense. Try looking at an online press release service and just read a few.

1. State the wow!
2. Cut the jargon
3. Dress up the message with enhancers
4. Streamline approval

Don’t tell me what the company does – tell me what it offers its customers. It’s not the company that sells the product or service, it is the benefit that customers obtain from it that is your message.

No wow: example

Wow: example

Buzz words are not for media copy. They should be thrown out of the dictionary all together, but seeing as I’m not an editor for the Oxford English, we can together work to get them out of your PR tools.

For a start, lets delete for good – next-generation, core competencies, out of the loop, value-add, think outside the box, results-driven, empower, knowledge base, at the end of the day.

We once had a South African girl that worked for us. She diariesed, theorised and actionised herself out of a job. We could not handle it any more. Don’t use three words if it can be said in one and don’t use words of three syllables if it can be said with one syllable words.

So now that you have cut to the wow, and cut out the jargon, you have some room to clarify even further with some message enhancers. Examples include:

Analogies
If you’re not using public relations properly it’s like shouting to a room of def people.

Antidotes
When the United Nations World Food Program wanted to radically increase their donations but didn’t have much of a budget they approached NettResults. Let me tell you what we did for them…

Endorsements
The Holmes Report recognised NettResults at the Saber Awards as the leading PR agency in the Middle East and Africa region.

Examples
For one of our clients, Creative Labs, we guaranteed the amount of coverage we would achieve week after week - showing that we stand by our service level.

Statistics
Typically we can increase your marketing budget by a factor of five. If your retainer value is $10,000 a month, then we will be getting $50,000 of coverage equivalent – i.e. that is how much it would have cost you if you’d paid to advertise in the same space.

Testimonials
As Amer Farid of Habib Bank AG Zurich says, “We have partnered with NettResults for over eight years now because they not only produce great results, but they are as passionate about our business as we are.”


One last thing to add clarity to your message is to update your approval process. A press release should be like a racing horse and not a camel. The camel is what you get if designed by a committee. Your press releases and press materials are not to be designed by committee. Streamline the approval process. If at all possible keep the product managers away – then it won’t get too techy. The less managers – the clearer the message. At all costs keep the legal department away – they’ll water your message down with their neurotics.